“Sitting down never feels so great as after standing for eight hours on someone’s testicles.”

“I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.”

“You’re disoriented. You’re in the future. You just woke up. You’ve been asleep for eight hours.
”

“You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep for eight hours.”

“Never sit on a freshly painted bench, or stand on a wet wall. That’s a lesson in love I had to learn the sideways way.”

“I want to meet the girl of my dreams, and then immediately try to sleep with her—for between six to eight hours.”

“If silence is the admission of guilt, then she must be really guilty, because last night I asked her a question and instead of answering, she went to sleep for eight hours.”