“So many trees, so few chimneys.”

“The crickets sounded like maybe in the trees. They were pretty loud to be so unsure of themselves.”

“Laws are chains to the many, and whips to the few.”

“If green carpet grew on trees instead of leaves, I’d pick off a few cats—with my rifle.”

“Her message was short: “Any kids?” So I wrote, “Sure. But it might take me a few tries to get you pregnant.”

“I found a pristine lake, undisturbed by man. So, of course I had to clang a few pots and piss in the lake, to really disturb it.”

“There are many ways to kill someone. I prefer laughter, and doing it slowly, over the course of 70 years or so.”