“Socialism provides safety in numbers. And that’s OK, if you don’t mind trading your name—your identity and individualism—for a number.”

“There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you.”

“What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two.”

“I'm not famous, but some people know me by name. Other people know me by number. That number is four.”

“Don’t tell me your name. If you don’t tell me your name, I can’t hurt your feelings by forgetting it.”

“When I have children I want an even number of boys and girls, and that’s why I want 15 kids—7 boys, 7 girls, and one hermaphrodite named Sam.”

“Surrealist Tip # 7: Sleep through numbers 1-6. Write down your dreams while you sleep, sleep as fast as you can, but try not to get a ticket—and don’t let the honking of other drivers wake you up.”