“Some people read books on musicians, while I read music books. Not books on music, but literally books full of sheet music. Fascinating reading.”

“Last night I read two books back to back. Tonight I’ll probably read both of those books’ front covers.”

“People who collect books, and categorize them by Roy G. Biv instead of alphabetically, are displaying the fact that their books aren't meant to be read, but merely looked at. And while they are busy looking at the rainbow of books, they're missing the pots of gold inside.”

“Before bed I do a bit of light reading. I’m reading a 50-pound book on midgets.”

“The book wasn’t half bad. But only because I only read half of it.”

“The last time I saw love was in my imagination while reading a book on Thomas Jefferson. Isn’t the Constitution of the United States so romantic?”

“This book does not exist. And even if it did, it wouldn’t be worth buying or reading.”