“Some people talk nonstop and manage to say nothing at all. Other people are more efficient and manage to say nothing at all simply by saying nothing.”

“I said it unto him who isn’t, and he wisely said nothing. Sometimes saying nothing is saying more than enough.”

“Some people say I look like my mom, while others say I look more like my dad. I guess it all depends on what I’m wearing.”

“I’d rather have nobody to say anything to, than have nothing to say to anybody.”

“Some people say—not to my face, mind you—that I’m a cowardly son of a bitch. And that is simply not true. My mom is not a bitch.”

“I would give you all my love, but I’m afraid I’d get nothing in return. And coming from you, nothing is simply much more than I want.”

“Nothing says I forgive you like a punch in the face.”