“Sometimes a well-placed sound effect can be more poignant than a boxing glove-sized punch line.”

“I’ve often wondered why boxing gloves are bright red. If I were a boxer, I’d wear camouflage colored boxing gloves so my opponent would never see my punches coming.”

“I’m such a germaphobe that I think sanitation gloves should be thicker than boxing gloves.”

“I want to merge oven mitts with boxing gloves, so I could effectively, and safely, fight fires. After all, fire fighters make better lovers.”

“I’d never trust a surgeon who didn’t wear gloves when he operated. Even if those gloves he didn’t wear were boxing gloves. He might as well, because I know he’s going to beat me up over the price.”

“I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are outfitted with flashlights.”

“The glove compartment of my car is empty, but one of these days, I’m going to fill it with an assortment of gloves—everything from boxing gloves to the oven mitts I used when I burned my last bridge.”