“Sometimes I feel I’m just doing a poor impression of a person. Maybe I feel this way because I have no money.”

“I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.”

“I’m glad I don’t have any foreskin, because at a nude beach I’d feel overdressed. (It’d be the only time I could feel overdressed by showing too much skin).”

“The picture is bad because the photographer was poor. I took the picture myself, and you can clearly tell I have no money.”

“I hate the smell of success, because most of the time it smells like sweat. Maybe that’s why I’m poor, because every pore on my body is dry.”

“I’m 6’3”, but you would think I was Napoleon’s height because I’m slouched over with poor posture, and I have a lust for conquering Europe.”

“Sometimes I feel like this. Sometimes I feel like that. I wish I could be more specific, but that’s how I feel—vague.”