“Sometimes I give automated responses to people without even listening to what they say. For example, someone might tell me, “Enjoy the movie,” and I’ll say, “Thanks, you too.” Or, someone will say, “Enjoy your meal,” and I’ll reply, “Thanks, I wish I were eating your pussy.”

“I’ll wipe a booger on your wall, not only to say I was here, but also to say thanks for having me over.”

“I’ll wipe a booger on your living room wall, not only to show I was there, but also to say thanks for having me over.”

“Who's to say what's better or worse anyway? Who's to even say what's normal or average? We're all different people and we're allowed to be different from on another. If someone ever says you're weird, say thank you. And then curtsy. No, don't curtsy. That might be too weird. Bow. And tip your imaginary hate. That'll show them.”

“If people ask me,I always tell them:"Quite well, thank you, I'm very glad to say."If people ask me, I always answer,"Quite well, thank you, how are you today?"I always answer, I always tell them, If they ask mePolitely...BUT SOMETIMES I wish That they wouldn't”

“I never learn. Like a waitress will bring my meal. “Hey, enjoy your meal.” “You, too. But you don’t have one, do ya? I’m a dufus. If you do eat enjoy it when you eat it if you have a break or something, later. If you get an opportunity.” That’s all I’m trying to say.”