“Sometimes I still get the urge to stuff asparagus up my nostrils, even though I don't like the way it makes my pee smell.”

“I love the smell of cleanliness. That’s what the inside of my nostrils smell like, naturally.”

“If I had nostrils on my index fingers, I wonder what the inside of my nose would smell like?”

“Though I can and sometimes do use chopsticks, I much prefer using my hands to pee.”

“My nostrils smell, but not to you. Oh, they have no odor, unless you count the scent of nostalgia, which is what they always smell like.”

“I want to upholster the inside lining of my nostrils with leather, to have that "new car smell" all the time.”

“Even though I know my own name (barely), I still sometimes write my name wrong. Usually it only happens when I write in cursive and am endorsing checks for money I can’t recall earning.”