“Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thing,” as I point with my pointy finger.”

“I’ll stab you with a pointy thingy. Not a sword, a knife, or even a mountaintop. No, I’ll use my index finger—and just to make a point about violence.”

“Sometimes I’ll be walking along, thinking, and I’ll kick up some dust and I’ll say, Whoa! That makes sense, and I’ll have just had an epiphany, and then forget all about it because I’ll get distracted by my dirty shoes.”

“You gotta be kidding me!" I clench my fists. "I am NOT Bilfro Baggins. You are not a wizard with a pointy hat, and this is not the one ring of power." I raise my finger toward the jagged stone.Jeff's brows rise. "Bilbo? Bilbo Baggins?""Whatever!”

“Sometimes I give automated responses to people without even listening to what they say. For example, someone might tell me, “Enjoy the movie,” and I’ll say, “Thanks, you too.” Or, someone will say, “Enjoy your meal,” and I’ll reply, “Thanks, I wish I were eating your pussy.”

“I’ll name my town “Unwelcome,” and the sign will say, “Welcome to Unwelcome.”