“Strangled or stabbed, which you rather have for dessert?”

“I had a dream about you last night. We started a shoe company, and a competitor (probably someone from Nike) attacked you, so I had to stab them in the throat with a shoelace. I guess it would have been better to use that shoelace to strangle them. 
”

“Woman, I could drown in your love, but I’d much rather be strangled. More passionate, don’t you agree?”

“A priest, a politician, and a philosopher walk into a bar, and the bartender stabs one of them. Which one did he stab? (Hint: the shortest one.)”

“You know what really chokes me up? Being strangled.”

“Would you rather have sight, or insight? I’d rather have a double cheeseburger.”

“The truth is I did try to stab him. I tried to stab him with a butter knife. Why? Because it seemed deadlier than trying to stab him with a melting stick of butter.”