“Strawberries are so red they make me feel 33% patriotic.”

“I’m only 33% patriotic, because I don’t bleed red, white, and blue. I only bleed red. But I pee white and my balls are blue, so doesn’t that count for something?”

“I like color commentators. Especially red, white, and blue color commentators. As an American I sometimes feel so patriotic I feel British.”

“Patriotism, red hot, is compatible with the existence of a neglect of national interests, a dishonesty, a cold indifference to the suffering of millions. Patriotism is largely pride, and very largely combativeness. Patriotism generally has a chip on its shoulder.”

“So how could you ever eat another strawberry and not know that God loves you? I want you to think about that every time you eat a strawberry. Do you hear me?”

“I am an uncle, though this is not a new feeling for me, as I’ve been one before. I’ve also been 2 through 32, and I turn 33 in March.”