“Strawberries are so red they make me feel 33% patriotic.”

“I’m only 33% patriotic, because I don’t bleed red, white, and blue. I only bleed red. But I pee white and my balls are blue, so doesn’t that count for something?”

“I like color commentators. Especially red, white, and blue color commentators. As an American I sometimes feel so patriotic I feel British.”

“I am an uncle, though this is not a new feeling for me, as I’ve been one before. I’ve also been 2 through 32, and I turn 33 in March.”

“Quick! Hide under my 3:33 am, but don’t pet my 3:33 pm.”

“I have a list of people to kill. All but number 33 are my clones. Who’s number 33? Why you are, of course.”

“Not only will my kids be out to replace me, but so will all my clones. Makes me feel so disposable, like a plastic spoon.”