“Sunburns are so embarrassing that they always make me blush all over.”

“People don’t blush when they’re embarrassed. White people blush when they’re embarrassed. Why so embarrassed, white people? Any skeletons in your closet? Oh yeah, that’s right—we’ve got more skeletons in our closet than anybody.”

“I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves start blushing and turning red.”

“Things aren’t often what they appear to be at first blush. But embarrassment is.”

“A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, just measure you blushing cheeks against the rouge of a brick. 
”

“I love like an albino. But I don’t want to get sunburned, so would you please pass the ketchup?”

“Not only will my kids be out to replace me, but so will all my clones. Makes me feel so disposable, like a plastic spoon.”