“Surviving cancer is cool, but surviving old age is cooler.”

“Never chew off the hand you write with, you might survive and have to sign autographs.”

“Death is coming—but hopefully not before old age, decrepitude, and senility.
”

“Wrinkles don’t signify old age, they signify a lack of ironing skills or a dearth of hangers to hang clothes on.”

“Too many men have died in the name of old age. I know, because my grandmother was one of them.”

“I’ve had a stressful day, and I need something stronger than beer. Somebody fetch me a bodybuilder. Check the cooler in the garage.”

“I’m twice as old as she is tall. She’s half my age in height. We have a David and Goliath kind of love.”