“Taxidermy and taxes go together like peanut butter and sodomy. Can somebody get me two slices of bread?”

“Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.”

“I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter.”

“What is life without death? That's like asking what is peanut butter without jelly? Or a baseball game on TV and changing the channel? Or government without taxes? Actually, I like those last two.”

“I've never eaten here so I don't know what's good. Peanut butter and jelly is always good. You can't screw that up. Peanut butter and jelly has always been there for me and is one of the constants in my life. Peanut butter and jelly has never done me wrong. It's my favorite.""Should I leave you two alone when it gets here? Sounds like you don't need me.”

“It takes maturity and practice and patience to spread chunky peanut butter evenly on crumbly bread.”