“The all-knowing yesterday is obsolete today.”

“I’m here today because of my decisions yesterday. So I can change my tomorrow today, but I can’t change my today today. This makes the me of yesterday offensive to the me of today.”

“How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same things all the time. The you of today is a clone of the you from yesterday.”

“I’m older today than yesterday, and therefore I must be more mature.”

“I’ll be 30 in March, and it feels just like yesterday that I thought tomorrow will soon be today.”

“When thinking about yesterday, contrasted with today, I can’t help but observe that today by definition means I’m one day closer to death. I just hope that one day isn’t tomorrow.”

“Today I am doing better than yesterday, and tomorrow I hope to be doing better than I am today. And two days from now? Well, that’s a Monday, so I’ll be feeling shitty.”