“The atmosphere is always very grave when I walk into a cemetery.”

“Even though I buried our love in a coffin, it isn’t dead. No, our love is very much alive. Or at least it was yesterday, when I went to visit the cemetery.”

“When I walk my dog, people always ask if we’re twins.”

“I just started working the graveyard shift at the cemetery. Come to think of it, every shift at the cemetery is the graveyard shift.”

“I dig art. With a shovel. In the cemetery.”

“I'm a year older than 365 days ago, and I'm having trouble bending my knees and my lower back is killing me. Everything reminds me of death. Especially bending over all day to steal the flowers off all the graves in the cemetery.”

“I always buckle up, even if I’m only walking across the parking lot.”