“The best date I’ve ever been on was March 5th, 1982, the year I was born. For as long as I live, I’ll never forget that date.
”

“A date is a place, a destination. March 5th, 1982 is the ideal tourist trap.”

“My birthday is coming up. I was born on March 5th, 1982. Humans have come a long way since then—nearly 30 years, if my math is good. And my math better be good, because if my math’s no good, what’s that leave? I mean aside from English, art, science, social studies, history, geography, P.E., recess, and of course, lunch.
”

“I’ll be 30 in April. My birthday is March 5th.”

“There is one woman I’ve dated I just can’t seem to forget, no matter how much I drink or how many concussions I give myself.”

“I only know I was born on March 5th because someone told me. I don’t remember myself. So it’s fact based on secondhand information and trust.”

“All my best writing was written before 1982, and then a significant event happened to me: I was born.”