“The best salespeople are not salespeople, they’re people who’ve not only bought the product, but also bought into the idea of the company and the brand.”

“I wanted a ponytail for my 16th birthday, but daddy never bought me one. He thought that not only would I not be able to ride it, but it would also be unsuitable for a young lady to be a young man.”

“I bought a house in a depressed neighborhood. The prices weren’t low, but the people were all bummed out.”

“I bought an oxygen tank, because with the global population at over seven billion people and rising, what if the world were to suddenly run out of air? And while the people will be suffocating, I’ll be the only guy prepared to pillage and loot.
”

“I like watching people stretch in the park. It's my new favorite pastime since I bought a portable rack.”

“A clone’s most valuable function would be as a gift giver, because who else but you knows exactly what you want? Only your clone. And besides being the perfect gift, it’d also be a surprise, because it’s not like you bought your own gift.”

“I bought a big brown stuffed animal. You know, for dinner.”