“The best way to dig yourself out of a hole, is with a dead guy’s fingernails. Then, once you’re out of the hole, finish burying that dead guy before the cops arrive.”

“Politicians think the only way out of a hole is to keep digging.”

“I saw the corpse, and I called the cops. But not before I called a 1-800 phone sex number with the dead guy’s phone and credit card.”

“I need to dig a hole the size of the Grand Canyon to bury all of my problems.”

“A brick could be used to block a mouse hole. But something better that would not only block the hole physically, but also psychologically, would be to stuff a dead rat in the hole.
”

“If you have to dig to find yourself, you are probably dead.”

“I can’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground. Especially if that hole is hairy and emits foul odors.”