“The big uncookable sections of who we are, they’re the ones I love to taste the most.”

“A sample may taste better than the whole, because it’s meant for a taste test, which is perceptually expected to garner favorable results. This is why I can’t give you all my love. Plus, you don’t have a container big enough to hold all my love.”

“I can taste one sugar crystal, just like I can feel one Cupid (the metric unit of measurement for love).”

“Most people like winners, but I prefer underdogs. They’re more fun to pet.”

“If love tasted like pork, and you were allergic to Francis Bacon, could I be your Shakespeare? We could make love on a pizza and make much ado about nothing, everything, anything, something.”

“Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate).
 It tastes like love, only not so focused on just one ingredient.”

“People who die in Detroit and then go to hell probably think they’re in heaven. I know, because I’ve been to Cleveland.
”