“The canvas isn’t empty. It’s full of whatever you imagine it to be full of. My art is so conceptual that not only do I not tell, but I don’t even show. All I do is sign the canvas and try to sell it.”

“I can draw like it’s nobody’s business. I use my door as a canvas, so don’t knock, because it’s nobody’s business.”

“I’d love to try to sell a blank white canvas to an art dealer. And when he asks what it is, I’d tell him, “It’s a landscape painting of Key West, from the perspective of an optimistic blind man.”

“My wallet isn’t empty—it’s full of hope. Thanks, Obama!”

“I sell Ziploc bags. They’re not empty—they’re full of hope.”

“I bought an empty safe, and I keep it empty, because safety doesn’t exist, so my safes are full of their potential.”

“A blank canvas is so abstract that only imagination can fill it. But wait! Don't hang it on the wall like that. It's upside down.”