“The escalator doesn’t work, and you’d think they’d still be used as stairs, but in this economic depression, even the stairs are unemployed.”

“Escalators are the offspring of elevators and stairs. Love is the progeny of passion and admiration.”

“The American Dream is to not have to work, so with unemployment at record levels, you’d think more people would be excited and grateful for the government intervention that got us to this glorious economic point.”

“You’ll know the economy is dead when industry stops and escalators turn into stairs. That’ll be the day slinkies take over the world.”

“Every morning I think: What’s the latest I can sleep in ‘til, and still be on time for work? Well, I used to think that, before unemployment turned every day into a Saturday.”

“Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs.”

“Why do old people drive slow? They have the least amount of time left on earth, so you’d think they’d drive the fastest, to make the best use of what little time they have.”