“The essence of courage is timing. Take me, for example. I’ll show up to fight anybody, anywhere. I’ll just show up a day late.”

“It’s a lie. There isn’t safety in numbers. But there is safety in letters. There are only 26 letters, and yet they are more powerful than an army of infinite men. Show me a man or an army that can kill an idea, and I’ll show you an example of the absurd.”

“Show me how to lactate, and I’ll be the best mother a father could be.”

“I’ll write the time on my wrist, and I’ll cover it up by wearing a watch.”

“If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time.”

“You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll also be late.”

“Sometimes I’ll be walking along, thinking, and I’ll kick up some dust and I’ll say, Whoa! That makes sense, and I’ll have just had an epiphany, and then forget all about it because I’ll get distracted by my dirty shoes.”