“The fastest I’ve ever fallen in love is 17 miles per hour. But I was safe, because I was wearing a bicycle helmet at the time.”

“The last time I went speed dating, I brought a radar gun. I got clocked at over 70 miles per hour.”

“Dreamland, I couldn’t stay away, because I couldn’t stay awake. I traveled there in my sleep, at 65 miles per hour, while I was driving.”

“I wear a helmet when I write, because if you’re doing it right, writing is dangerous.”

“I have slightly less than 60 miles to go, and I’m going slightly faster than 60 miles per hour. I should arrive in a bad mood.”

“The eye of a hurricane is a real Cyclops, and confusing a blink with a wink can be deadly. Sometimes I flirt at 100 miles per hour.”

“I’ve decided I like making love on rainy days. Ever since she asked me to wear a raincoat.”