“The fog scattered the light and spread it thick like mayonnaise. It was late and I was sandwiched between 2011 and 2012, and all I needed was some tomato slices to fully enjoy it.”

“I want a sexual innuendo sandwich, hold the mayonnaise.”

“If you’re wearing a space suit, I’ll take a unicrescent sandwich; hold the mayonnaise—and the moon. (But don’t hold it in your hands.) Let us dance like the moon is hollow and inhabited by beings of light who give off enough energy so I can be a night nudist.”

“I eat fog soup (out of a can). You don’t think I make it fresh, do you? You don’t need a spoon or straw to enjoy it—you need a pipe to inhale it.”

“His thin accusation hung thick in the air like fog smoking a cigarette.”

“Love is a tomato. And while it's true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup.”

“If science took my IQ and spread it evenly among the world's population, like mental mayonnaise, we'd have more art, less war, and higher cholesterol.”