“The future is right around the corner from a bar called, “Yesterdays.” I know, I work there every tomorrow.”

“I am prophetic. I predicted it would snow tomorrow yesterday, and sure enough today it snowed. True, I’ve been saying it will snow tomorrow every day since June, but as you can see, my fortune telling prowess is improving.”

“I wish I had a crystal bowl to see into the future with. Every morning I would eat my cereal out of it while I read tomorrow's newspaper.”

“I’ll be 30 in March, and it feels just like yesterday that I thought tomorrow will soon be today.”

“Yesterday I memorized Shakespeare, and tomorrow I'm also going to memorize his first name.”

“I found a note I wrote that said “Doctor’s Appointment Tomorrow.” Well, that note is wrong, because that appointment was yesterday.”

“Today I am doing better than yesterday, and tomorrow I hope to be doing better than I am today. And two days from now? Well, that’s a Monday, so I’ll be feeling shitty.”