“The girl who did my oil change was so sexy that after she was done, I drove nonstop 2500 miles one way, just so I could immediately turn around and drive back with a reason to see her again.”

“Her legs are so long and sexy that I can see them 26.2 miles away. Gatorade.
”

“I was driving to another girl’s house who’s not my girl, and I saw a red sign by the road that read, “Wrong Way,” and I thought, I agree. So I turned around and went home.”

“The big, burly oaf offended my girl, so without hesitation I rushed to her defense. I did, however, make a few stops along the way, and by the time I got home and back, the dispute was settled and she had found another way home.”

“I keep my love in the trunk. And I drive slowly over speed bumps, so she doesn’t bump her head around.”

“I saw a hermaphrodite changing, so out of respect, I turned halfway around.”

“I made art out of all the phone numbers on napkins I’ve had over the years. So it was just one napkin, and I wiped my mouth with it after I was done.”