“The longest I have ever gone without sex is sixteen years. But to my credit, elementary and middle school were rough dating years.”

“Last year, millions of students didn’t graduate from high school. They didn’t drop out, they were simply in elementary and middle schools.”

“At my ten-year high school reunion, I was voted best looking. Of course, there were two people in my high school, and while I wasn’t the best looking, my brother was two years younger and therefore not in my graduating class.”

“The best date I’ve ever been on was March 5th, 1982, the year I was born. For as long as I live, I’ll never forget that date.
”

“Ten years have gone by since the ten year anniversary, and I still remember it like it happened a decade ago.”

“In middle school, Renaldo was voted most likely to vote in a Presidential election. But he was the most obvious choice to receive that accolade, since he was the only 17-year-old at school.”

“I wrote my name on the list 10 years ago, and under the date I wrote “In the future.” But how’d I know I’d show up, and not my clone posing as me?”