“The man with two plungers for hands never wipes his ass, but he also never clogs up a toilet either.”
Jarod Kintz
This Book is Not for Sale
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Similar quotes
“Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –""Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.""Great idea though, thanks, Mum.”
J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
“Nothing is worse than to finish a good shit, then reach over and find the toilet paper container empty. Even the most horrible human being on earth deserves to wipe his ass.”
Charles Bukowski
Factotum
“All I have to say about love can be summed up in nine words: Never wipe your ass before you take a shit.”
Jarod Kintz
Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.
“Teddy said it was a hat, So I put it on. Now dad is saying, "where the heck's the toilet plunger gone?”
Shel Silverstein
“You haven’t lived until you’ve wiped your ass with a pile of sand. Toilet paper doesn’t measure eternity the way the sands of time do.”
Jarod Kintz
This Book is Not for Sale