“The moment I laid eyes on her I knew she was somebody else, somebody I could love. And since somebody else never showed up, I did fall in love with her.”

“I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home.”

“Somebody knocked, and I’m glad it wasn’t her. I mean I want her to come, but I thought it was him, so I ignored the knock and that’s why I’m glad it wasn’t her. I wouldn’t want to have ignored the very person I wanted to show up.”

“I could jump in a small swimming pool or dive in the big ocean, and I’d be equally as wet. So it is with love. Somebody get me a towel.”

“We all want somebody to share our life and love with. But if there are an odd number of people on the earth, and there’s a 50% chance there is, then somebody is going to get left out. And that somebody isn’t going to be me, even if I have to kill that one guy to make the world balanced.”

“The lights might have dimmed, but I blinked at that moment so I didn’t notice. I also didn’t notice her love, probably because she never showed or told me.”

“Somebody needs to pet me, and I guess that somebody is me. My cat is busy sleeping.”