“The months roll by like wheels on a wheelchair. Pretty soon it’ll be July. Feels like just last month it was May.”

“I’ll be 30 in March, and it feels just like yesterday that I thought tomorrow will soon be today.”

“I was nine minutes late for my last birthday party. And I was nine months on time for my first birthday.”

“Last February had 29 days. It wasn’t a leap year, but me and 28 of my clones each remember that month as if it were a day.”

“To be environmentally friendly, I’d ride my stationary bike to work. I hope my career works out, because it feels like I'm just spinning my wheels.”

“Faith: a device of the mind, fed by the soul, that functions like crutches to a man in a wheelchair.”

“So that was how I spent nine months of my life. I felt like I was pregnant, except instead of giving life, I was wasting mine.”