“The most the average person probably reads in a day is a STOP sign or two. And based on how people drive in Jacksonville, I don’t think they even read that much.”

“The country with the most writers is ironically probably the country with the least readers—USA. And once my parents die, my entire reading base will disappear.”

“Here in Jacksonville there’s a road called Commonwealth Blvd., and today as I was driving on it, I realized how socialist the name sounds.”

“Last night I read two books back to back. Tonight I’ll probably read both of those books’ front covers.”

“I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible.”

“When people say they don’t read, I always wonder if they don’t because they can’t or because they won’t. Then I think, what’s the difference? Either way they are ignorant.”

“I was driving to another girl’s house who’s not my girl, and I saw a red sign by the road that read, “Wrong Way,” and I thought, I agree. So I turned around and went home.”