“The Nile is famous for overflowing like my love. How fertile is your valley?”

“If Twinkies grew on trees, as nature intended, then I would like to irrigate your fertile valley. When we make love, bring your own knitting equipment.”

“I write like I make love: alone in my bathtub, as I let the fantasy overflow and wash over me.”

“I want to scrape earwax out of your ears like the last of the chunky peanut butter in a jar. I’d love it if you ate one of my world famous Listening Sandwiches.”

“With your fertile eggs, and my semen, we’d make a delicious omelet.”

“You can’t become a famous garage band if you never perform outside your garage. That’s why my band plays in my driveway.”

“The Nile crashed in the Amazon while being piloted by Miss Ississippi.”