“The office is painted with green and red stripes. It’s not painted that way so my mom can experience Christmas 364 more days a year. It represents the stock market, with green symbolizing greed, and red representing fear. Buy when the masses are fearful, and sell when the population is greedy.”

“My future, it almost looks like Christmas—red and green—stop and go.”

“Take me to Happy Birthday Land. It’s open 364 days of the year, and the one day of the year it’s closed for cleaning happens to be my birthday. 
”

“I am a single drop of blood trying to mix in with billions of red paint splatters in this Pollack painting called life. I think the cops are trying to frame me.”

“As the Hulk is green, I was bright red. I wasn’t embarrassed, but I was having a Niacin reaction.”

“I’d love to try to sell a blank white canvas to an art dealer. And when he asks what it is, I’d tell him, “It’s a landscape painting of Key West, from the perspective of an optimistic blind man.”

“How’s my mom? My mother’s well, like a painting—a Motherwell.”