“The old me is younger than the new me, the me now.”

“The old me is younger than the me now. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“He’s a year shorter than me, but he’s a foot younger. I love him like the brother of an only child.”

“I’ll never be as old as someone older than me, but I can be older than them if I outlive their lifespan.”

“On my list of things to be when I grew up was a character in a Gary Larson comic. With one of his books in my hands, I would spend hours and hours laughing. And then I’d finally stop laughing long enough to actually open the book. I’m not sure what the younger me would think about me if he could see me now. To be honest, I’m not sure he’d be terribly impressed. He’d probably put his hands on his hips and hump his dismay.”

“Dear 30 years old, why are you stalking me? Please leave me alone or I’ll be forced to alert the authorities.”

“In the future, I’ll be furniture. Step on me now or sit on me later, but either way let me know how I can make you feel comfortable.”