“The one benefit of Alzheimer’s is that you can keep giving them the same gift over and over, and it’s always such a surprise.”

“A clone would make a great birthday gift, because it’s the only gift that keeps on giving. At least it’d better give me a birthday present every year. It owes its life to me.”

“A clone’s most valuable function would be as a gift giver, because who else but you knows exactly what you want? Only your clone. And besides being the perfect gift, it’d also be a surprise, because it’s not like you bought your own gift.”

“Bah, Alzheimer’s. Grandma wouldn’t be so forgetful if she didn’t always have dick on her mind.”

“I bought you a gift. It’s something I’ve always wanted, but I’m not quite sure you’ll like it. So if you don’t want it just tell me and I’ll be happy to keep it. After all, I’m only interested in making you happy. 
”

“If you give me a gift, it’d be insulting to pay you, because I’d be denying you the gift of giving. So my gift to you is to accept your gift, thereby allowing you to enjoy the gift of giving.”

“If I were king, I wouldn’t pay you the money I owe you. I’d give you a far more valuable gift: the gift of life—your own. Yes, you’d get to keep it!”