“The only thing I have left to remember her by is the scent of her perfume. I just broke into her car and stole the bottle.”

“I stole her perfume out of her car, and in its place I left a loud fart.”

“I broke down when we broke up, but I didn’t break in to her house just to break out of my routine.”

“A kiss involves two people, so I not only have to think about me for me, I have to think about me for her, her for her, and her for me.”

“Good thing my mother-in-law isn’t pizza shaped, because then I’d have to cut her up into eight slices and serve her to her family. As it is, I only need to cut her up into four pieces, and serve her to the pigs.”

“Her car is being repaired, so I offered to give her a lift to work tomorrow. I hope she likes piggyback rides.”

“I gathered my courage like nuts and berries, I cautiously approached her, I waited for her to turn her head, and then I sprinkled them in her yogurt. Sometimes you just have to take a chance. Ah, but that’s life, no?”