“The three of us met to discuss dinner over sandwiches, and I decided I liked them. The sandwiches, not the people. I hated those fucking people.”

“It's just me and the Bane. And I'm fighting him because he killed all of those innocent mice and people, and I have to stop him. Not because Sandwich says so but because I say so.”

“Why are breakfast food breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast?""Hazel, eat.""But why?" I asked. "I mean seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an egg, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich.”

“I would love a sandwich,' said Tybalt, with enough gravity to make it sound like a formal proclamation. Resolved: that we will have ham and cheese sandwiches.”

“I’ll feed fifty goddamn people every freaking morning if I have to. Just so he can eat one sandwich.”

“You people would convict a grilled cheese sandwich of murder and the people wouldn’t question it.”