“The water trapped in my window makes it like an aquarium—which makes me the fish.”

“They settled out of court. In related news, two fish fought over an aquarium, rather than in the aquarium.”

“A hotel is a temporary aquarium for people. That’s why I travel with a fishing pole, and erectile dysfunction medicine.”

“I’m a Pisces, and people say that Pisces make the best the best lovers. That’s because Pisces are fish, and it’s like my grandpa always used to say, “The next best thing to making love to a mermaid, is having sex with a fish.”

“I waste more time trying to save time than I would if I were merely inefficient. One woman told me I make love like a fish in the desert, and I believed her, because she looked like a dry fish fucker to me.”

“I want to make pants out of tuna fish, to accompany my cottage cheese thighs.”

“I make love like a flamethrower would make a good ice machine. But that’s OK, because I like ice water.”