“The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK.
”

“If I were among midgets I didn’t know, I’d be afraid they’d see I was uncomfortable making small talk.”

“When anybody, no matter how old they are, loses a parent, I think it hurts the same as if you were only five years old, you know? I think all of us are always five years old in the presence and absence of our parents.”

“In five years I want to go equally as far as I have come in the last five years. No, farther. Five years ago I embarked on a journey that led me to this point, so five years from now I’d like to be six years older.”

“I bet it’s never happened to you."She was right. But that was only because I’d been five years old when Grandpa had started my training. When I’d thought there were monsters under the bed, he taught me how to do a proper sweep to get rid of them.”

“If you were to ask me if I have ever loved a woman, I'd probably reply, "Two gallons of milk and a midget.”