“The zipper on my crotch is an air vent. I need some way to cool down my hot coffee.”

“Do you find it erotic how my pants bulge in the crotch, where I keep my coffee cup?”

“My hands fell asleep, so I washed them with hot coffee. Then I had donuts for breakfast, by way of spinning circles in my car and burning rubber in the parking garage of my office building.”

“Respect doesn’t have to be shiny. It just needs to be wearable. Would you be so kind as to hold my jockstrap while I stir your hot coffee?
”

“I’ll tug at your breasts like a thirsty child. Try not to burn your nipples in my hot coffee. While you’re at it, I also like sugar in my coffee.”

“My favorite salad dressing is vodka. And my favorite ice cream flavor is coffee, though I prefer it melted and hot enough to burn flesh.”

“I laughed so hard I nearly spit out my hot tea. The strange part was the fact that I was drinking coffee at that moment.”