“There are levels of humor. The level above mine is invisible and inaudible.”

“Music is inaudible to deaf people, just as dancing is invisible to me.”

“I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level.”

“For just over my price range, I can get something way under my quality expectation level. Thanks, inflation!”

“I have assigned myself a Hooray Factor of five. This is the top level, and is the only level that has a physical representation—that of a high five. But don’t try to give me a high five, because I’m the only person in the world with a Hooray Factor of five. So until my clones get here, I’ll just have to continue to high five my reflection in the mirror.”

“I want to write a song about one man's level of commitment called, "I'd walk to the edge of the world, just to dump your body.”

“I’m looking for a full-time portable heat generator. Must be willing to travel. If you don’t snuggle, you must cuddle—at a world champion level.”