“There are shades of schadenfreude. My favorite shade is bright red, from a haughty spanking.”

“When I wear sunglasses, the day turns shades of night, and it’s as if the blocking of the sun to my eyes cools down my body too.”

“She took off her red pants, the shade of ketchup, to reveal softly tanned legs, like two French fries. But when she brought up price, I knew she was too good to be true. She was definitely NOT off the dollar menu.”

“What’s blacker than black? Does summer shade have a shadow? Is that how loneliness looks and where it lurks?”

“I planted a tree. You’d think my neighbors would be happy for the shade it would provide them, but no, they said I planted it too close to their house. Since when is six inches too close?”

“I’ve often wondered why boxing gloves are bright red. If I were a boxer, I’d wear camouflage colored boxing gloves so my opponent would never see my punches coming.”

“As the Hulk is green, I was bright red. I wasn’t embarrassed, but I was having a Niacin reaction.”