“There were two chairs, but there were three of us. So, being the gentleman I am, I got down on the ground on all fours in my chair pose so that then there were three chairs and three of us—with one extra seat to spare. I make love the same way—with more orgasms than people involved.”

“I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.”

“I went to an airport and asked for a wheelchair. There were three of us in wheelchairs and only two porters, so the guy took two of us at the same time. I cannot tell you how humiliating that is.”

“The first two rooms were in the same state as the corridor. Dirty, and piled with junk. Dead typewriters, telephones, three-legged chairs. I was reflecting on the fact that there is nothing in any of the world’s great museums that looks quite as ancient as a ten-year-old photocopier, when I heard a noise.”

“If I had a wooden leg I could sit on three-legged chairs no problem.”

“I am the best-natured creature in the world, and yet I have already killed three, and of these three two were priests.”