“There were yogurt-colored clouds that afternoon, and I was there, blotting out your sun with a spoon.”

“My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon.”

“If my semen had chunks of crumbled brick in it, would you use yogurt to try to impregnate your fireplace? 
”

“The two spoons were stuck together. Not because they were sticky, but because they were stubborn and clingy and “in love.”

“-Hey, neighbor, is your wife free for a date today?
-No, I’m taking her out this afternoon?
-Great! Then you won’t mind if I come over and mow your lawn. Sucker!”

“If I were the color blue, and you were the color orange, I wouldn't want you around all the time, because who wants to be constantly complimented?”

“A brick could be used like a Viking skull holds soup. If you bring a spoon, I can quench your thirst—and your hunger. 
”