“There’s a relentless wave of WTF coming out of Washington DC.”

“A brick could be used to send Satan back from whence he came. But where did he come from? Probably Washington DC.
”

“You don’t have to visit an asylum to see insanity. All you have to do is visit Washington DC.”

“I once saw a snake having sex with a vulture, and I thought, It’s just business as usual in Washington DC.”

“I wish somebody would combine tasers and dildos, and test the devices out on all the politicians in Washington DC. Well, all the politicians except Barney Frank, who’d actually derive pleasure from the experiment.”

“To be surrounded by sixty people who make your life miserable is to be at a family reunion. But to be surrounded by 600,000 people who make the whole world miserable is to live in Washington DC.”

“On my recent trip to Washington DC, I wore a hat I made out of a tin funnel that I covered with fur. Why? Because I was going to where the world’s largest collection of morons were, so I figured I’d fit right in if I looked like an idiot.”