“There’s cat feces in my Batman costume, and all the lines in my screenplay were snorted by the neighborhood cokehead. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“Last week I placed a hand-written sign in front of my neighborhood that read, “Lost Mustache. Please do not feed. If found, contact Mouth,” and I left my phone number. Nobody’s called. Perhaps the neighborhood cat lady took it in and is petting it on her lap at this very moment. Ah, but that’s life, no?
”

“There’s a faint whiff of feces wafting up my nostrils. But that’s natural, because I just walked past a politician.”

“My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“Making money for my clones, now that’s what I call self-enrichment. Having all my clones working for me, working for free, and enriching me, now that’s what I call social progress. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“I eat spaghetti with my fingers, because it reminds me of me running my fingers through her wet red hair. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“There’s a hair in my soup. That’s the problem of using my helmet as a bowl.”