“There’s nothing I like better than a beautiful sunset. Except maybe a gorgeous sunrise. And a naked woman painted pink and orange floating through the sky.”

“I make love like an albino sings—softly, and from sunset to sunrise (except in Alaska).”

“I am the sunrise of sunsets, and I make love like noon at midnight.”

“I love how sincere she is. She makes a mannequin look like Mother Theresa, though she looks better naked. And I hope she thinks I look better naked than a dead woman.”

“I’m a fan of Meatloaf. He has a voice like it’s covered in thick gravy. There’s nothing better to make love to, with the possible exception of grandma’s casserole.”

“I am not adventurous, though I can manage to look at and enjoy sunsets. However, sunrises scare me.”

“Contrast and compliment. The blue is never more blue than it is when paired with orange. And the orange is never bluer than when eaten on a cloud in the sky.”