“There’s this girl who’s obsessed with me. I would tell you what she looks like, but she’s transparent. But I will tell you that she does have a sexy voice.”

“I look at a woman’s shoes, not to tell how sexy she is, but to determine how sexy she feels.”

“You want to tell me what this is? she asked as she gabbed my erection. “A miracle of science,” I replied.”

“She’s ultra conservative, while I am ultraviolet. I would show, but I’m beyond what anybody can see. I made her look like Helen Keller, with a wig and makeup, and I also made her look like Helen Keller in that she could look but she could not see.”

“If I could build my own neighbors, I’d have no need to build a fence. I would tell you, “I would tell you, but you wouldn’t understand,” but you wouldn’t understand what you wouldn’t understand.”

“She asked if I found what she was telling me very exciting, and I managed to yelp out “very” while yawning.”

“-There’s a beautiful woman here for you who wants to have sex.
-Tell her I’m married. Then tell her I’ll be there as soon as I can.”